And the Song Ends
by Sandylee007
Summary: After saying goodbye to everyone and moments away from his regeneration the 10th Doctor has some time to think. This is my version of what went through his head right before he was gone. ONESHOT TenxRose mentions, nothing heavy though


A/N: So… I just watched Ten's very last episode for the second time. And again tears were running down my cheeks. This coming from a person who usually NEVER cries while watching TV/movies. It TOTALLY smashed my heart! And I just couldn't keep myself from typing this in his honor. (wipes eyes)

DISCLAIMER: I SERIOUSLY don't own anything about the series! But a girl can dream, eh?

WARNINGS: Feels, a bit of language… And in case you've somehow missed Ten's final episode, SPOILERS! (Heh, that word has a special ring to it after River Song!)

STRONG SONG RECOMMENDATION: 'Shattered' from Trading Yesterday fits soooo well! I would've posted parts of the lyrics here but I'm not sure if that fits the site's rules, so…

Awkay… Because I've stalled the inevitable for as long as I could… Let's go! I really hope that you'll enjoy the ride!

* * *

**_And the Song Ends_**

* * *

The Doctor could feel the process advancing in every single cell of his body. In the very core of his being. The radiation and regeneration were doing their combined work, tearing this version of him to pieces from inside out.

_So… This is it, huh? This is finally it?_

His hearts had stopped, several times. He'd been shot by a Dalek. Poisoned. Flooded by electricity. Possessed. He'd been chased at. Tortured. Turned into an ancient being at the end of his existence.

He'd also been brought back to life, several times over. In so many more ways than one. And now… Now he was about to come undone by four knocks from an old man.

And what a magnificent, good old man!

The Doctor gasped, trying to will down at least a tiny part of the horrible pain gnawing all of him. His eyes scanned through the TARDIS, taking in every little detail while he still could. Drinking in all those tiny things that were pure _him_.

Dimly, his head a screaming chaos, he wondered how much the next Doctor would change her. Where he'd take her. What they'd see together. The thoughts were a bit more bitter than he'd meant them to be but he couldn't bring himself to care.

So very human, to feel the ice cold stab of bitterness in the face of the end.

His hand caressed the TARDIS, taking in the familiar feel of her for the last time. He gasped, his knees nearly giving out. This time the pain that blossomed was a different kind.

_We had amazing adventures together, didn't we, old girl?_

Somehow, even through all the other noise echoing in his ears, he managed to hear her humming in mourning. Crying in the only way she could. He hoped, from the bottom of both of his hearts, that he'd had words of comfort to offer but he found none.

/ _"… the best of times…"_ /

Uncalled memories whistled through his mind. Brushing him as though each familiar face had been saying goodbye, one last time. Because he knew that he'd never, ever see any of those precious people again.

Sarah Jane.

Mickey.

Jack.

Wilf.

Martha.

Donna.

And Rose. His Rose. The most special one of them all.

Donna, of course, had already forgotten. But what about the others? Would they remember?

Rose's last words to him kept repeating themselves. Over and over again. Merging with the lullaby the Oods and the TARDIS were singing.

/ _"See ya."_ /

_I'm sorry, Rose_, he mused with a wave of grief. _But we won't. You will see me one day, but…_

Wasn't it always the same with the two of them? '_You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you._' Shakespeare couldn't have written it better, that astonishing genius.

Another fond memory that he'd carry with him. Through time and space. A precious little memory that'd one day feel like nothing more than a dream.

The Doctor gasped several times, working his hardest to remain upright despite the fact that this body of his was crumbling fast. Once again he tried to will away some of the agony although he knew that it'd be of no use. There was only one thing that'd help. His final thing.

Tears filled his eyes, nearly falling.

There were times, a pitch black and crushingly heavy eternity, when he was fully ready for it to be over. When all the losses he'd endured became too much. When he felt carved so hollow, empty and stretched thin that he roared at the Daleks to finish him. That he urged the very universe itself to end his impossible, endless existence and grant him peace.

But now… Now he finally remembered again. All the beauty that somehow managed to blossom through. All the hope that somehow always resurfaced, no matter how dark it became.

There was so much, out there. Such that he'd already seen. Such that he'd only had the time to dream of heading towards. And so, so much that he could've still done. So much that he would've wanted to do.

The life he was given in this form… It wasn't enough. He wasn't ready. He wasn't finished. This… This wasn't fair!

But his song was ending. It was like he told Wilf. This version of him, his face and massive chunks of the person behind these eyes, would die. Burn away. He, as the person he was now… wouldn't exist anymore. A new man would take his place and continue traveling.

And that bastard would be ginger, too, wouldn't he?

The tears came dangerously close to overflowing. Because the Doctor could feel the inevitable process ticking on. His breath shuddered, just a little, as he gathered it for his final words. For the Tenth Doctor's last, selfish plea. "I don't want to go."

His song, however, was already over and after a final, sharp breath the fire and screaming began.

* * *

**_End._**

* * *

A/N: Awkay… I'm not sure if I should apologize, here. I'm not sure how good of an idea it was to type this while I was still so emotionally torn by that episode! (chuckles and wipes eyes) I REALLY hope that you enjoyed this one, though!

PLEASE, do leave a comment to let me know your thoughts! It'd be amazing to hear from you. In any case THANK YOU, so very much, for reading!

Who knows, maybe I'll see you guys again later?

For now… Take care! Aaaaaand, allons-y!


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